need water. Have to pee. Fuck. Headache. 








not great for me. Where’s the writing? Where’s the music? It’s just words. I’m getting overloaded. I don’t even want music. But I need it. Do I force feed myself? Hold myself down? Force my mouth open and pour a bottle of notes down my throat? 


”Get in the car!”

addiction? Who knows? We’re not really talking. But we’re together. 

“Later dude. I love you.” 



we don’t buy anything. We just steal space. The prime seats.  

J- cray is there. He reads with us. 

im on my phone. More words. I like the drama words. Who doesn’t? I guess it’s the best story that gets us. 

a homeless man says something to me. 

”he’ll never be alone” 

me - “what?” 

homeless man, “he’ll never be alone. You teach him to read like that. With a book. He’ll never be lonely” 

is that true? I suppose if anyone knows it’s this guy. 

”let’s go boys” 

ive got the shades back on. Driving the van like a suburban gangster. Kids talk about videos games. Some new level. A kid got the raid rocket launcher. My boy lights up every time the game destiny 2 becomes a topic of conversation. It’s like he’s alive. 

the one thing that breathes life into him and I want to squash it. Screw that. I won’t. 

 ”later guys. I love you.”

”love you dad”

yes I got it. I worked years for that. 

im home. 

the wife is getting back on track. 

We walk. The hood. Dana Point. I’m one of the freeest prisoners in Dana Point. 

im getting focused too. My head is like a jazz poet in the 50’s. I’m rattling off my thoughts without getting lost. It’s like a memorized preamble.  

Strength and health. Safe and protected. Happy. Peace of mind. Rich. Abundance. Funny as fuck. People feel good. I feel good. Love abounds. It’s my wish. The universe provides. 

im a professional comedian. Both channels have 10 million subscribers. 

im a world traveler. 

its all first class baby. It’s fun. I’m alive. 

we get home and put 20 minutes of intensity together. I’m gonna get back in shape.  



i think I figured it out. 

a mind break. 

film Tim. Mind trapped. On the brink. Friends on my phone.

Back home. 


maybe a song on guitar. 

kids are back. 


a call from an old friend. A couple of those. 

its spaghetti night at school. 

what about Bjj? Screw it. 

im eating pasta. And Hawaiian bread! Oh shit. Diet tomorrow. I’m flying off the handle. 

ive got my arm around Lesley.

popsicles. Lesley’s pasta. More bread!  

Lesley needs Indian food. Stone doesn’t want to leave. Fine.

me and Lesley get the Indian food alone.