What was I doing there?

I used to get to the veteran's hall around 615pm. The show started at 8pm. I would transform the room. You wouldn't recognize it in the day time. I remember being by myself having panic attacks and jut thinking what am I doing here? It was weird almost like I wasn't even doing it. I guess I have an incredible knack for putting one foot in front of the other. It was almost as if I was above watching my body break down chairs. Break down tables, move couches, hang banners, hang applause signs. I'm getting some distance now and feel like I'm coming out of the fog. What the fuck was I doing? I just kept going. Am I a lunatic? I don't know what it was but a little voice just told me to power forward.

Sometimes in life we need to charge forward but always give some time for reflection. Success let's us party and failure gets us to analize. Both are good but we will never know which one to do with no reflection. I'm really ready to start partying. When does the party start? I heard it starts when the worrying stops. What am I doing now? I don't have a game plan. I have ideas and a sense of the direction I want but I'm on another roller coaster. When will I get off?

I don't know that I can.