I'm loosing expectations

I remember leaving you at the airport
a tear dropped down my cheek
I somehow knew this was the end of the line
the words I felt but couldn't speak
hatred fills my heart as years pass
when I think of times missed and the missing space
nothing fills that space now
but I try with every thing, person, and place
empty is where I keep my rage
I try to put things on top to keep it down
but nothing works for too long
the strength is strong enough to move the ground
I'm too stupid to not believe in god
why do these thoughts enter into my mind?
that's for the rich with no needs to fill
my need is strong yet I don't expect to find