Things change. Really profound, huh? I'm pretty deep sometimes. Things change. I don't like it, I'm more of a things stay the same type of guy. That's why I'm not always the best at being human. As fucked up as life is and as disappointing as life can be, I still want to live. Is that weird? That I want to breath air and stuff. Eat pizza and play with my kids. Maybe kiss my wife now and again.

I get uncomfortable when I think of dying. That's normal, right? I don't really care for dying. I'm more of a living type of guy. I get really uncomfortable thinking of death. I think of death a lot. I know, you're not supposed to think of death, you're supposed to pretend that when you die you'll get to spend eternity in heaven, walking on clouds in all white clothing. If you just believe that then you won't have to think about death and you won't have to feel uncomfortable. My only problem is that I have a hard time believing in fairy tales. I'm more of a I like to use common sense type of a guy.

The thought of dying, and then that's it, doesn't sit well with me. I want to keep going. Maybe an after life is a fairy tale but to me it makes more sense than not. I want to learn, I want to have fun, and I want to relax. What does that have to do with death? Who knows.