I used to spend all my time asking the questions that are unanswerable. What happens when you die? Is there a God? Is the church fucked up? Or are they right? If my church is right are all the other churches wrong? Who is God? Who am I? What am I doing here? I don't get it. Nothing makes sense. Who made God? How did we come from nothing? I feel like my brain is exploding.
More on this later.
These were my thoughts all day, every day from about age 12 to age 22. My formative years.
I was fucked up. The sermon I remember most from Church was the one about hell. The pastor said, "I hear a lot of people say I want to go to hell because that's where all my friends are going and we'll just have a party. These people are sadly mistaken. In hell you will be isolated. You will not be able to see because your eyes will be welded shut. You can't move because your wrists will be welded to your ankles. You will burn for eternity.."
So much for the party idea. Don't you hate it when someone smashes a perfectly good idea of hell?
As a kid this stuff fucks with you. Satan was real. I was scared. This shit was imprinted into me all the way to the core.
I did a blog a little bit back about how I hate it when people are full of shit about something. I can not stand it when someone takes something that they don't know the truth about and starts spewing words as if they are an expert. I explained that I always seem to remember their words and then at the moment I learn the truth, and the contradiction, of what they were saying I put it in their face. I guess I love letting people know they are wrong.
Religion, the afterlife, and everything that goes with those two words is the ultimate playground for the bullshit artist. This is probably where I began to develop my bullshit radar. Maybe the church people are the ones that first pushed my buttons and maybe it's them that I'm really calling bullshit on every time I prove someone wrong.
The thing I hate about bullshit artists is that I can never prove them wrong in the moment. What a better place for someone full of shit to dwell than in the world of the after life.
How many people do you know that are dead?
None, because they're fucking dead, and when people die they tend to stop speaking.
My problem is with people who say they know, when they don't. Religious people claim they know, it's heaven or hell. Atheist people claim that they know, nothing happens when you die.
The point here is fuck you! You don't know. I don't care if you are atheist or religious, you both just suffer from wanting to be right. When people want to be right then they need others to be wrong.
I believe in God. God is a fucked up word. Too many people for thousands of years have used that word with the certainty of fact. These same people never came close to experiencing even a glimpse of the sacred. You don't know. Why can't we just all come together and agree on this one point? No one knows. This is the only truth, we don't know the truth and we never will until we fucking die, or not even then. We definitely will never know while we breath here on this dust ball.
There's a big movement to be atheist. I feel it coming down the pike in the years to come. More and more people are coming out. I feel it's the pendulum swinging the other way and I guess that sometimes when we need to change we need to swing the pendulum all the way to opposite end of the spectrum. But I feel it's obvious that we need to come to a meeting point which is in the middle and I believe the middle is "We don't fucking know."
When you are in a place where you don't know, you leave yourself open to learn. When you know there is no room for growth, only room to let other people know they are doing it wrong.
It doesn't matter what you believe as long as what you believe doesn't matter.
Don't fucking push shit on me and I won't push shit on you.
That being said I will state that atheist are probably right. But they are a miserable group of people. Just as preachy as the other guys. I am glad they are there to tell the religions that they are a fairy-tail story and ridiculous. But I don't want to be the grumpy old man in the coffee shop talking about how God doesn't exist, it's not fun to me.
I want to be happy, I want to enjoy myself, and I want to have fun. Atheism is not fun. Religion is not fun. They're both fucking right and people that are right have a fucking stick up their ass.
Both of you, get away from me!
I believe there are some strengths in religion, different religions might even have different strengths. Atheist might even have something to offer. Can I just take the strengths from all the religions and leave the rest?
I want to be like Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee said, "I will fight anyone and kick their ass in less than a minute." (This is a paraphrase from something I heard second hand, but stay with it because it works.) Bruce Lee studied all forms of marshal arts. He knew all the strengths so he could fight anyone.
I want to spiritually kick anyones ass. I want the strengths.
There's too much to say and I am going to revisit this.
I believe in laws of the universe. I don't understand the universe but I think there is a system in place. Read the Tao Te Ching. This guy points out certain universal laws, obey the laws and reap the rewards.
I guess I believe in a universal spirit. I don't understand it, but I like to think it's there. If I want to play by the rules I do believe I can reap rewards.