I'm in stress out mode. When am I not? I don't know. I feel the anxiety creeping back into me like a cancer stronger than ever after a remission. I haven't slept much. I won't sleep much tonight. I hate my job! They're threatening to fire me if I don't become their indentured servant. I can't stand being controlled. I'm fucking out of it right now. Checkmated by life once again.

What the fuck! I'm 37. Very behind schedule. I'm all or nothing and you know what that means I am today. Where's the peace?

Where did you go? The joy for life? The fun?